she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
