its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
