I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
