Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
