So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
