Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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