She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
