Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
