Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
