Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
