Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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