well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
