Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
