You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
