He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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