Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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