Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
