he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
