Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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