That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
