everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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