ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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