But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
