Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
