Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My pussy is not your playground.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is my gift to your gina
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
