if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are my feet made of real feet?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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