Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
