Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
