Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude i'm inner monologue high
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
