What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
