i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
