so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That accounts for only three of the penises
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
