Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
