Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
