so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
