help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
