Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My cat gives me a boner
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize