What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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