Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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