I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
