Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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