That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
