If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
