First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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