Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
