i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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