you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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