Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
