I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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