What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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