Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize