I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
