The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize