the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
