Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I looked at my own cervix.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
