I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
