he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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