You're my little dorito
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
