He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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