i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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