wrigley field is MILF paradise
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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