ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
