Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
