I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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