If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
