Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
