11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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