I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
