My first STD was from a foam party
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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