the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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