You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He shit in the fireplace
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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