i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
