She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
