where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
