I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
