im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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