I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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